Based on what you've posted, it sounds like 2.5T is the correct sized.
You have to remember that if you're low on Freon, it won't cool as well. It also won't heat as well, the the Freon leak may be the reason your heat pump is having problems maintaining 68F in the winter. It's also old...
These days, heat pumps are much better at producing heat than an old 16yo heat pump. These new ones can produce heat into the single digits. Yes it's not doing to be as efficient when the temps drop, but compared to your old one, even if that one was 100%, the new ones will do better.
Just remember that if you're sizing for cold, it sounds as a 2.5T is good, but if you want more heat, than get the 3T unit.
BTW, I've been on propane heat since I've been in my place but last fall, I replaced my AC with a heat pump. I kept the propane furnace for a dual fuel setup. I have my thermostat set to switch from heat pump to propane when temps drop below 30F... And I have to say I love my setup. I'm in a 2400sqft home with a 3.5T Rheem (14 seer) and the thing has no problems heating my place this winter. Here's the kicker... Before, I was using some electric heaters to try and save a bit of dough because of the cost of propane; which increased my electric bill. With the heat pump, I no longer use them.. I just got my electric bill for January and it was $182. In the past it was always just over $200 in Jan or Feb. But here's the kicker.... yes I know we've had a warm winter, but because of the heat pump, I haven't had to have my propane tank filled since early December. This to me is a miracle!! I've been here now for 11 years and this is the 1st time I haven't had to have my propane tank filled monthly in the winter!! Propane prices are down, but man, I know I still have to be saving some coin... Last winter, my propane bills were around $400 to $500 a month, in addition to my electric bill! I'm loving my 14 seer Rheem heat pump!!