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Old 04-28-2019, 07:56 AM   #6781
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Re: A few jokes...


Interesting, isnít it, that "take out" refers to food, romantic dating, and assassination.
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Old 04-29-2019, 06:45 AM   #6782
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Re: A few jokes...


Recent events has reminded me of this story.

After getting the " Silent Treatment" , for a couple of weeks at home, a guy says to his other.

" Hey, we are getting along great lately. "
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Old 04-29-2019, 08:58 AM   #6783
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Re: A few jokes...


One fine day in Mo-Val, a lady butters her toast, and ooops! She drops it. And it lands buttered side up!

"OMG!" she hollered.
"Egad!" her mate hollered.
"This is incredible! Everyone knows that your bread always falls buttered-side-down." Said their neighbor.

So, clergy were summoned, priests, rabbis, imams, shamans, and they all fasted, prayed and incanted.

Finally, they reached the conclusion: "Ma'am, you buttered your toast on the wrong side!"
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Old 04-30-2019, 08:23 AM   #6784
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Re: A few jokes...


The Painting


A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

"But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."
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Old 04-30-2019, 08:55 AM   #6785
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Re: A few jokes...


Quote:
Originally Posted by rusty baker View Post
crack
I have that greeting card! Two, to send for appropriate greetings . . . .
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Old 05-01-2019, 08:09 AM   #6786
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Re: A few jokes...


Job interview in a psychiatric hospital:

So youíre interested in working with us. What is your experience with mentally disturbed people?
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Iíve been on Facebook for 5 years now.
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Very good, the job is yours.
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Old 05-01-2019, 10:48 AM   #6787
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Re: A few jokes...


A student at the University of Mo-Val did a paper in which he conducted an experiment.

A large bullfrog jumped 4 feet when the student clapped his hands.

He removed one of the frog's hind legs, and it jumped two feet when he clapped his hands.

He removed the other hind leg, clapped his hands, and the frog didn't jump. Clapped again, still didn't jump, as for a third and fourth time.

The student concluded that the frog was deaf.

He got an "A."
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Old 05-02-2019, 06:22 AM   #6788
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Re: A few jokes...


Flood was bad in Joplin.
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Old 05-02-2019, 06:59 AM   #6789
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Re: A few jokes...


Q. Did you hear about the blond that gave her cat a bath?

She still has not got all the hair off her tongue.
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Old 05-02-2019, 07:01 AM   #6790
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Re: A few jokes...


Quote:
Originally Posted by rusty baker View Post
Flood was bad in Joplin.
We have 2 Sinclair stations here, with those on the corner out front too.

ED
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Old 05-02-2019, 09:37 AM   #6791
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Re: A few jokes...


Didn't think they had those dino-saurs any more in front of gas stations.
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Old 05-02-2019, 09:44 AM   #6792
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Re: A few jokes...


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Didn't think they had those dino-saurs any more in front of gas stations.
These are new here, Sinclair bought out the CENEX chain here about 5 years ago, or so.

Oh, and one of Sinclair's refineries is still here too.

The only one left in this area, all other refineries have been torn down, AMOCO, TEXACO, are all gone. from here.

ED
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Old 05-02-2019, 11:17 AM   #6793
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Re: A few jokes...


I didn't know Sinclair was still in business. While there were lots of them back in the 60s and 70s I don't think I've seen one in at least 25 yrs. Unless my memory fails me the dinosaur used to always be up on the pole - part of the sign.
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Old 05-02-2019, 02:57 PM   #6794
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Re: A few jokes...


Quote:
Originally Posted by mark sr View Post
I didn't know Sinclair was still in business. While there were lots of them back in the 60s and 70s I don't think I've seen one in at least 25 yrs. Unless my memory fails me the dinosaur used to always be up on the pole - part of the sign.
The dinosaur, is their LOGO, so it was on the sign, as well as in the parkway on most stations with the room, some were very big, others were smaller.

ED
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Old 05-02-2019, 03:41 PM   #6795
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Re: A few jokes...


Wasn't the sign in the shape of a dinosaur?
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