As another wife who does DIY - never EVER let your spouses mood or desires alter what you HAVE to do. . .you have to put your foot down, sometimes - commence work while they're gone if necessary - and get things done RIGHT. She can put on her big girl panties when necessary, I'm sure.
I've had to make deals with my husband - "you can pick out the kitchen-wall color if I get to rerun all the electrical wiring" and so on. Works for us.
Preach it, Sistah!
If I could only remember to THINK about what I was doing before I did it.