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Old 03-05-2009, 08:05 AM   #1
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Stimulus package explained


OFFICIAL EXPLAINS AT A TOWN MEETING HOW THE PLAN WORKS:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It's money the Federal Government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the Government get this Money?

A. From the taxpayers.

Q. So the Government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use this money to purchase a high definition TV or a new computer, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China and Japan.

A. Shut up.

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Old 03-05-2009, 08:48 AM   #2
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Stimulus package explained


*sigh*
unfortunate but true......

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Old 03-05-2009, 08:56 AM   #3
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Stimulus package explained


Remember some things never change. Our new leader first thought stimulus was only from cocaine.
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Old 03-05-2009, 09:08 AM   #4
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Stimulus package explained


but he didn't inhale, right? roflmao

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Old 03-05-2009, 09:35 AM   #5
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Stimulus package explained


In a Seattle Washington college classroom, they were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States. It was pretty simple -- the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was that this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president. The class was taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating . . .

'What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?'

Yep, these are the 18 year olds that just voted for the President of the United States.
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Old 03-07-2009, 02:40 PM   #6
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Stimulus package explained


Changing the government symbol---

The government today announced that the drawing of Uncle Sam will no longer serve as the symbol of the U.S. government. The new symbol will be a condom because a condom more accurately reflects the government's political stance. It allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being scr_w_d. It just doesn't get more accurate than that! -author unknown-
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Old 03-07-2009, 04:31 PM   #7
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Stimulus package explained


Quote:
Originally Posted by gma2rjc View Post
Changing the government symbol---

The government today announced that the drawing of Uncle Sam will no longer serve as the symbol of the U.S. government. The new symbol will be a condom because a condom more accurately reflects the government's political stance. It allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being scr_w_d. It just doesn't get more accurate than that! -author unknown-
So true.
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Old 03-08-2009, 01:58 PM   #8
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Stimulus package explained


Quote:
Originally Posted by gma2rjc View Post
Changing the government symbol---

The government today announced that the drawing of Uncle Sam will no longer serve as the symbol of the U.S. government. The new symbol will be a condom because a condom more accurately reflects the government's political stance. It allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being scr_w_d. It just doesn't get more accurate than that! -author unknown-

LMAO

That is true!

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