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Old 10-20-2011, 09:59 AM   #1
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Send old farts off to war?


I thought a few people would get a kick out of this -



SEND OLD FARTS OFF TO WAR –
I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. They have the whole thing @ss-backwards.

Instead of sending 18-year old's off to fight – they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit until you’re at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.


Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier – “My back hurts, I can’t sleep, I’m tired and hungry”.

We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some @sshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.


An 18 year-old doesn’t even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.

Besides, like I said, I’m tired and can’t sleep and since I’m already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-b!tch.

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys… we’re used to getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also developed an appreciation for guns. We’ve been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however… I’ve been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side. Nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy too… I’ve never seen anyone outrun a bullet.


An 18 year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to shave and to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes – not the back of his neck.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm’s way.


Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.


Or here’s a suggestion – how about recruiting women over 50… in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??? If nothing else, put them on boarder patrol, they’ll have it secured the first night.

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Old 10-20-2011, 10:11 AM   #2
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Send old farts off to war?


Well - "gma2jrc" -
I don't think you're going to win a "popularity" contest.
However:
I do tend to agree!!
(Just an opinion!)
It'll be interesting to see some of the responses you get to this!

rossfingal
(I've been here long enough - give the "kids" a chance!)

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Old 10-20-2011, 10:15 AM   #3
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It's all in fun - not meant to be taken seriously. It was in an email I got from a friend and I got a chuckle out of it, so I thought others might see the humor in it.

The 18+ year old men and women who are serving our country are true heroes and we are blessed to have them protecting us.
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Old 10-20-2011, 10:31 AM   #4
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Send old farts off to war?


Where's my gun, anyone seen my blame bullets, let me at um sorry suckers. I forgot, who are we sposed to shoot at, the politicians or the terrorists?
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Old 10-20-2011, 11:38 AM   #5
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Has any one see my glasses?

Just show me where to sign.
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Old 10-20-2011, 12:12 PM   #6
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Sorry "oh'mike" - can't find mine - how am I supposed to find yours!?!

(Don't worry - you'll find them when you're looking for something else -
which, you won't find!)
Sign on the "dotted line"

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Old 10-20-2011, 12:31 PM   #7
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Look on top of you head!
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Old 10-20-2011, 12:51 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jiju1943 View Post
I forgot, who are we sposed to shoot at, the politicians or the terrorists?
It's easy; the one's who are trying to destroy our country. The... the... aw shucks, that doesn't narrow it down either.
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Old 10-20-2011, 01:21 PM   #9
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Okay, Okay ... "o'm" - done that work!! (Ha, ha ha!)
(At least, I can still laugh at myself!)
Oh well ...

RF
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Old 10-20-2011, 01:28 PM   #10
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"gma2rjc"
Sure opened up the proverbial - "can of worms"

rossfingal

Last edited by rossfingal; 10-20-2011 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 10-20-2011, 02:07 PM   #11
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Sorry it took me so long to reply..... I couldn't find my reading glasses .

Hmmm. Politicians or terrorists - it's hard to choose. So many of them are one and the same.

Barb
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Old 10-20-2011, 02:24 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gma2rjc View Post
Sorry it took me so long to reply..... I couldn't find my reading glasses .

Hmmm. Politicians or terrorists - it's hard to choose. So many of them are one and the same.

Barb
I know nothing!
Turn your back on them - they sneak up on you.
RF

(So we're "visionaly challenged" - "reading glasses"??? - I need "reading' glasses to find my "real"
glasses!!!! - So!?!) (Sorry about the spelling)

rossfingal

"One and the same" - something like that!)

Last edited by rossfingal; 10-20-2011 at 02:35 PM.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:48 AM   #13
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Send old farts off to war?


well i say the US gets with the program and starts inventing hologram infantry and attack the enemy like that in some way to save more people and keep america safe
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:57 AM   #14
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That would be neat.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:38 PM   #15
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Send old farts off to war?


i like it! very funny. 18 year olds think about sex every 10 seconds.....HA. yeah- would say so myself!

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