"Redneck Neighbor" - AKA - Jon Doe #8 (JD8)

Snav · 05-19-2010, 07:43 PM

http://www.joespc.com/carlos/redneck.htm

This is worth the read!
And all of us here either KNOW someone like this or IS like this!

some quotes to tickle your fancy:

The Mailbox:
"It looks like it's made out of 2x4s except he didn't steal any that were long enough so he nails a couple of them together to get the correct height - I mean, it has to look just right! The mailbox post is not very sturdy so he braces it with an additional 2x4 (at an angle). Click here to see the mailbox"

Mom Moves In:
Mom seems like a very nice lady. Unfortunately, my wife wakes me up to bad news again. "Something weird is happening at JD8’s house. His dog is chasing some chickens around the back yard." Unfortunate indeed. Just as I peek out the bathroom window, I see JD8’s mom come out and throw some chicken feed in the middle of the yard.

The Rain Gutters:
JD8 decides to put up rain gutters in front of his carport. Unfortunately he doesn't buy a piece long enough for the width of the carport. Instead, he buys two pieces. They're about ten feet long. He wedges the two pieces together by hand and proceeds to nail the now larger piece directly onto the carport. . . For the finishing touch, he ties the coat hanger around a nail he's nailed onto the carport roof shingles.

Mailbox Improvements:
JD8 decides to use the old stolen bricks and build a brick mailbox. It's really nice. However, he uses his old white plastic mailbox and leaves the flag attached to it instead of attaching a flag to the bricks (it makes the mailbox flag inoperable – it stays up). Of course, worried about mail fraud or perhaps the anthrax scare, JD8 protects his mail with a Jesus Christ statue on top of the mailbox. Check out the handy work. Mailbox front Mailbox back Mailbox statue

Hey - at least JD8's patriotic!

Scuba_Dave · 05-19-2010, 08:02 PM

That thar is one solid mailbox post

Snav · 05-19-2010, 08:05 PM

I love how he bricked it in later on - put a lifesize statue of Jesus Christ on top and permanently cemented the flag upright.

Yoyizit · 05-19-2010, 08:40 PM

The theft and the 'couldn't care less' sounds like
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisoc...ality_disorder
This should get interesting.

Scuba_Dave · 05-19-2010, 08:43 PM

I had a friend who went home from the bar & decided to cook a steak
Next morning he found the black charcoal remnants on the grille
It was a gas grille, ran the tank empty

Leah Frances · 05-19-2010, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuba_Dave

I had a friend who went home from the bar & decided to cook a steak
Next morning he found the black charcoal remnants on the grille
It was a gas grille, ran the tank empty

Haven't done that but I have cooked a gallon of chili into charcoal on the stove (took about four hours - went outside for some yard work).

"Mom seems like a very nice lady. Unfortunately, my wife wakes me up to bad news again. "Something weird is happening at JD8’s house. His dog is chasing some chickens around the back yard." Unfortunate indeed. Just as I peek out the bathroom window, I see JD8’s mom come out and throw some chicken feed in the middle of the yard."

Is there something wrong with this? Wish I could get my Mom to feed my chickens. I have to do it myself. Last night I had a hell of a good time watching two of my hens face off against one of my dogs over a half-eaten ear of corn.

Leah Frances · 05-19-2010, 09:11 PM

The site in the OP is definitely worth a read. DH and I had a ton of laughs.

Snav · 05-19-2010, 09:19 PM

I know- a complete riot!

I wouldn't believe it except he has pictures - it's all true!

I love the chicken-coup 'thing' in the backyard! Sounds like me :D

Scuba_Dave · 05-19-2010, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snav

Hey - at least JD8's patriotic!

What's wrong with Patriotic ?

I have a 25' flagpole with a 4x6 flag flying most of the time
But I have a rope to raise & lower it

And I used to fly a 12'x18' Flag day - 4th of July

Snav · 05-21-2010, 07:47 PM

He's in ACU's - I love it!

Scuba_Dave · 05-21-2010, 08:12 PM

John Doe had a cookout

Ahhh....censor blocked part of the link as a bad word

Found another site with it

Itsdanf · 05-21-2010, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuba_Dave

John Doe had a cookout

[IMG]http://jokes.justsick****.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/redneck-shishkabob.jpg[/IMG]

Photo not showing, and link doesn't work....

Snav · 05-21-2010, 10:08 PM

Its - the curse-control on the forum alters the link so it won't work. Add in slang for feces after cutting and pasting it into your browser.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuba_Dave

John Doe had a cookout

[IMG]http://jokes.justsick****.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/redneck-shishkabob.jpg[/IMG]

OMG! That's and AWESOME idea!

I showed my Mom this blog and she said "the 50lb bag of dog food is you!"

Red Squirrel · 05-21-2010, 11:54 PM

Hahaha awesome read!

"Bob Vila would love this guy" LOL

Snav · 05-22-2010, 10:02 AM

I read it, again, just to bust a gut laughing - I love this one

The Rock
This has to do with another home improvement project. There's no way to describe this project. It is quite simple. He wants to put a rock in his flower bed. The weird part is how the rock is placed there. When I describe this to my friends at work, I call it the "one legged table". I know it's hard to picture it. To see it, click here.