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Old 10-07-2012, 08:45 AM   #1
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If GM Kept Up With Technology


At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated that:

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

General Motors has issued a press release stating:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car XP" or "Car 2000". But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would only work on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the justice dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You would press the "start " button to shut off the engine.


I didn't write this and don't know who to credit for writing it.

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Old 10-07-2012, 08:59 AM   #2
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If GM Kept Up With Technology


old, but still funny. and true.

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Old 10-07-2012, 02:44 PM   #3
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If GM Kept Up With Technology


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Originally Posted by Fix'n it View Post
old, but still funny. and true.
When I read #5, I thought it must have been around a while.

I thought about updating it, but my knowledge about computer stuff is not only outdated, it's almost nonexistent.
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Old 10-09-2012, 07:50 AM   #4
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If GM Kept Up With Technology


I think #13 is actually on some cars.
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Old 10-09-2012, 06:54 PM   #5
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If GM Kept Up With Technology


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Originally Posted by joed View Post
I think #13 is actually on some cars.
That would be those cars that got recalled because the ar would suddenly accelerate no matter what you did.
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