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Old 01-28-2012, 10:38 AM   #1
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"DIY" - cooking/baking - story


Cooking/Baking - A Story

Well, I've recounted enough stories -

I'm at the point where most new, one's would be -
* Unsuited for a PG-13, environment
* Entail too many "bad" memories
* I'm not supposed to "tell" (various, reasons)
* Too unbelievable!

So - something on the "lighter" side!

I love to cook/bake.
When I was younger -
I bought a cook-book titled, something close to -
"Blue Ribbon Recipes" (Good book!)
It was filled with "Blue-Ribbon", winning recipes from
County/State Fairs all over the United States.
(By the way - I also, love to eat!)

I started baking cakes - from "scratch" -
Lot's of them!
There was a recipe in this cook-book called -
"Rich, Silver Cake"
The main flavoring was Vanilla and Almond.
The frosting was confectioners/powdered sugar and butter -
whipped, "all to h*ll"!
It was one of the best things that could happen to milk/coffee!

I made a whole, bunch of them!
(I also, ate a whole bunch of them! - I hate that when it happens!)

A friend of my mother's, gave her a set of "tiered, cake pans" - wedding cake.
I'd already doubled the recipe for this cake -
So, why not a "Tiered, Rich, Silver Cake"?!!
(Can't have "too much" of a good thing!)
It required quadrupling the recipe.
Let the chemistry, begin!

4 eggs, becomes 16 eggs -
4 teaspoons of baking-powder, becomes 16 teaspoons -
And, so on.
No problem for Chef, "Boy-AR-Rossi"! - right?!?
Ha, ha, ha!!!
The oven I was using was a large, electric, wall/cabinet mount.
Mix the ingedients - into the pans - into the oven.
I go down-stairs to join my parents in the family-room.
("my parents", who are blissfully, unaware of my current
culinary, chemistry, experiment!)

10 - 15 minutes go by
I go up to the kitchen to check the progress.
OMG!!!!!!!!!
The "Blob" is pushing the door to the oven open!!
(About, 8 to 12 inches at the top!)
Yipes!!!
"Chef, Boy-AR-Rossi" springs into "emergency, clean-up, mode"
(The "EPA" would be impressed!!)
Turn the heat off.
Got it cleaned up - my parents never knew about my culinary, chemistry,
experiment, "Gone Wrong"!
(I told them - later - they laughed!)

Now, what could have gone wrong?
4 teaspoons of baking-powder, times 4, equals 16 teaspoons of baking-powder.
Simple!
I used 16 - TABLESPOONS!!! - NOT!!!
OOPS!!!

Good thing I wasn't part of the "Manhattan Project" -
"Rossi - You Idiot - now the whole planet is going to be covered in
cake dough"!!!
("It is pretty, tasty though"!!)

rossfingal

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Old 01-28-2012, 10:46 AM   #2
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haha, awesome!

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Old 01-28-2012, 12:13 PM   #3
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Awww right, up tight and out a sight like Martha White! I like to cook every once in a while also. I really like smoking or BBQ ing, fish frying and stuff like that. I bet you have never had chocolate gravy and hot biscuits, have ya? Man that stuff is so good it will make your tongue slap the roof of your mouth so hard it will knock your brains out.

I never tried to bake cookies, I did try to make a cake one time, it looked really bad but it was good. The iceing kept sliding off to one side.Oh well.

Dr. Jimbub signin out
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Old 01-28-2012, 12:48 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jiju1943 View Post
Awww right, up tight and out a sight like Martha White! I like to cook every once in a while also. I really like smoking or BBQ ing, fish frying and stuff like that. I bet you have never had chocolate gravy and hot biscuits, have ya? Man that stuff is so good it will make your tongue slap the roof of your mouth so hard it will knock your brains out.

I never tried to bake cookies, I did try to make a cake one time, it looked really bad but it was good. The iceing kept sliding off to one side.Oh well.

Dr. Jimbub signin out
"chocolate gravy" - "hot biscuits"?!?
Holy Moly!
That sounds really good!!
(Two of my favorite things)
Post the recipe!
OR ELSE!!!

"knock your brains out"?? -
(Sorry, you're too late - already happened!)
Ha, ha, ha! - "day late, and a dollar short"!

Cookies?
The most I ever made were about 100 dozen, at one time.
"Toll-House", chocolate chip - with walnuts!
"I'm in heaven - I'm in heaven"!!
(I was very, popular with my friends!)

Sadly - I'm supposed to stay away from sugar, now!
Oh well - the remembrance and visions of "past" glory!

rossfingal
(I don't sign anything, until I've read the "fine print")

"Dr. Jimbub" - you don't know an esteemed member of this place - who goes by the
"moniker" - "Dr. Jimbo" - do you?
Watch that one!!!
(A word to the wise!)

Last edited by rossfingal; 01-28-2012 at 12:52 PM.
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Old 01-28-2012, 02:37 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rossfingal View Post
"chocolate gravy" - "hot biscuits"?!?
Holy Moly!
That sounds really good!!
(Two of my favorite things)
Post the recipe!
OR ELSE!!!

"knock your brains out"?? -
(Sorry, you're too late - already happened!)
Ha, ha, ha! - "day late, and a dollar short"!

Cookies?
The most I ever made were about 100 dozen, at one time.
"Toll-House", chocolate chip - with walnuts!
"I'm in heaven - I'm in heaven"!!
(I was very, popular with my friends!)

Sadly - I'm supposed to stay away from sugar, now!
Oh well - the remembrance and visions of "past" glory!

rossfingal
(I don't sign anything, until I've read the "fine print")

"Dr. Jimbub" - you don't know an esteemed member of this place - who goes by the
"moniker" - "Dr. Jimbo" - do you?
Watch that one!!!
(A word to the wise!)
Having to do without sweets has got to be the pits, that is one of my main down falls, I love sweets too much and it shows. My stars, that is a biiiig bunch of cookies, that had to keep you busy for a good while.

Dr. Jimbo! I have heard of that low down sorry, cotton picken, chicken pluckin, lop eared, bean headed, pickle packin, jake legged no acount.

And now, back to your regular scheduled program.
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Old 01-28-2012, 03:35 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jiju1943 View Post
Having to do without sweets has got to be the pits, that is one of my main down falls, I love sweets too much and it shows. My stars, that is a biiiig bunch of cookies, that had to keep you busy for a good while.

Dr. Jimbo! I have heard of that low down sorry, cotton picken, chicken pluckin, lop eared, bean headed, pickle packin, jake legged no acount.

And now, back to your regular scheduled program.
Yes, lots of cookies!
It was fun!
(Can't afford the ingredients, now!)
Busy for a whole day!

For your sake - sure hope, "Dr. Jimbo" doesn't see this!
"low down sorry, cotton picken, chicken pluckin, lop eared, bean headed, pickle packin, jake legged no acount."
Even I, think that's rather "harsh"!
Usually, we refer to that "person" as -
recalcitrant, surly, obstreperous, -
Surely, not what you say!
You're "throwing-down" pretty, heavy!

If you give us the recipe for "chocolate gravy" and "biscuits" -
we might be willing to turn a "blind eye" -
on your "disparaging", remarks concerning "Dr. Jimbo"!
(Hey, can I get some of that "plucked chicken", "beans", and "pickles"?!)


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Old 01-28-2012, 05:52 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rossfingal View Post
Yes, lots of cookies!
It was fun!
(Can't afford the ingredients, now!)
Busy for a whole day!

For your sake - sure hope, "Dr. Jimbo" doesn't see this!
"low down sorry, cotton picken, chicken pluckin, lop eared, bean headed, pickle packin, jake legged no acount."
Even I, think that's rather "harsh"!
Usually, we refer to that "person" as -
recalcitrant, surly, obstreperous, -
Surely, not what you say!
You're "throwing-down" pretty, heavy!

If you give us the recipe for "chocolate gravy" and "biscuits" -
we might be willing to turn a "blind eye" -
on your "disparaging", remarks concerning "Dr. Jimbo"!
(Hey, can I get some of that "plucked chicken", "beans", and "pickles"?!)


rossfingal
Man, them are some big words right there, ain't got a clue what you said but if you say so.

This is the way I make chocolate gravy,
2 cups sugar
2 fairly large tablespoons of cocoa (you know, just heap them up some)
2 fairly heaped up tables spoons of self rising flour
pinch of salt
2 cups of milk

put the dry ingredients in a skillet unheated and mix them thoroughly, making sure there are no patches of chocolate in one spot.

Warm the milk in a microwave so it is pretty hot, make a trough in the mix and slowly pour enough of the milk in to mix all together in a thick paste, then pour in the rest of the milk. That way everything gets mixed well and no lumps. After all the milk is poured in turn the heat on about 6 or 7 on the electric cooktop (with gas you are on your own cause I don't know) just cook a little above medium. Stir constantly but slow, just don't let it stick on the bottom. Keep stirring until it gets good and thick. Pour over the hot buttered biscuits or just sop it like I do. There ya go. I like some thick sliced smoked bacon with mine also.

You can put the milk in the skillet and warm it that way and pour the ingredients in slowly and mix well but I just like to do it the other way.
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Old 01-28-2012, 06:24 PM   #8
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That sounds like a good one for a snack---now the big question---do I drag the computer into the kitchen or slid the stove into the office ,so I can read the recipe?

I had a great recipe for a BBQ sauce that had chocolate in it--
Came from 'The Marlboro cookbook" I loaned the cook book out and never saw it again---I've played around for years trying to duplicate the taste without success..

Ross----That no sugar thing would be hard for me to live with---I'm the guy with candy in my tool box.
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Old 01-28-2012, 06:25 PM   #9
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Thanks!
All, we were looking for!
Finally, "pryed" the recipe out of your "craw"!
That wasn't so hard - was it!

Thanks!

RF

(The words ain't that big! - it's, just words!)

Thank you!
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Old 01-28-2012, 07:10 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh'mike View Post
That sounds like a good one for a snack---now the big question---do I drag the computer into the kitchen or slid the stove into the office ,so I can read the recipe?

I had a great recipe for a BBQ sauce that had chocolate in it--
Came from 'The Marlboro cookbook" I loaned the cook book out and never saw it again---I've played around for years trying to duplicate the taste without success..

Ross----That no sugar thing would be hard for me to live with---I'm the guy with candy in my tool box.
No sugar?!?
Yes, ain't no fun!
What are you going to do?!?
(Speaking from the perspective of somebody with a "sweet-tooth"!)
Can you see the tears running down my face! -
No more "Sweets"!!


rossfingal
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Old 01-28-2012, 07:26 PM   #11
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My neighbor was recently told 'no more sweets for you' He is having a real hard time--I feel bad for him.

He is learning to cook a healthier and tastier meal though---His mother is still alive-80 something--and is teaching him some of the traditional mole sauces and soups from her native Mexico---

He's making a good attempt--I get to sample some of the experiments---
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Old 01-28-2012, 08:40 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by oh'mike View Post
My neighbor was recently told 'no more sweets for you' He is having a real hard time--I feel bad for him.

He is learning to cook a healthier and tastier meal though---His mother is still alive-80 something--and is teaching him some of the traditional mole sauces and soups from her native Mexico---

He's making a good attempt--I get to sample some of the experiments---
"Traditional - mole", sauces!?! - and: soups!!!
Get the recipes!!
"Phooey" with the "sweets"! - I want something that can "twist", my
taste-buds, all over the place!!
Yeahah-ahyeah!!
Now, were talkin'!

RF
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Old 01-28-2012, 09:00 PM   #13
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I'll see if I can gr a few simple recipes from him or one of my other Mexican friends--

There is a famous mole from Oaxaca that has chocolate in it----that is a rich red mole that is amazing over enchiladas--

I've traveled the back roads of Mexico a few times---

O.K.--I'll admit it --I was a chef---there---now the internet knows and no one will believe I can cut wood or tile---or fix a leaking pipe-



I'm ruined---
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Old 01-28-2012, 10:20 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by oh'mike View Post
I'll see if I can gr a few simple recipes from him or one of my other Mexican friends--

There is a famous mole from Oaxaca that has chocolate in it----that is a rich red mole that is amazing over enchiladas--

I've traveled the back roads of Mexico a few times---

O.K.--I'll admit it --I was a chef---there---now the internet knows and no one will believe I can cut wood or tile---or fix a leaking pipe-



I'm ruined---
Well - "Mr. Mike"
You finally, put your "proverbial", foot in it!!
Now, the truth is out there - for ALL the world to see!
So, now we have to refer to you as "Chef" - Tile,Master Mike - instead
of - "oh'mike" - Help!
I don't know - that could take a while, to get used to!
(The transition could be smoothed out, with the proper application of a
recipe for "chocolate, mole" sauce!)
Yeah!!!!!
Heh, heh, heh!!
That's my story - I'm sticking to it!! (Speaking of "stories"!?!)

rossfingal
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Old 01-28-2012, 10:38 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh'mike View Post
I'll see if I can gr a few simple recipes from him or one of my other Mexican friends--

There is a famous mole from Oaxaca that has chocolate in it----that is a rich red mole that is amazing over enchiladas--

I've traveled the back roads of Mexico a few times---

O.K.--I'll admit it --I was a chef---there---now the internet knows and no one will believe I can cut wood or tile---or fix a leaking pipe-



I'm ruined---
Hot dang, does that mean we can have some great recipes from you? Mexican food is some of my favorite, I don't know if I would like chocolate in something not sweet. Come to think of it I really don't like chocolate that much. I do like chocolate gravy but that is about it. Man we could share recipes, OK well, y'all could, I would just be here to enjoy them.

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