Construction dictionary
I stole this from an old friend.
Construction dictionary
CONTRACTOR:
A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal.
BID OPENING:
A poker game in which the losing hand wins.
Bid:
A wild guess carried out to two dedimal points.
LOW BIDDER:
A contractor who is wondering what he left out.
ENGINEERS ESTIMATE:
The cost of construction in Heaven.
PROJECT MANAGER:
The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.
CRITICAL PATH METHOD:
A management tefhnique for loosing your shirt under perfect control.
OSHA:
A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs and baloney-usually applied at random with a shotgun.
DELAYED PAYMENT:
A tourniquet applied at the pockets
COMPLETION DATE:
A point at which liquidated damages begin.
LIQUIDATED DAMAGES:
A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.
AUDITOR:
People who comein after the war is lost and bayonet the wounded
__________________
"I'm twisted, not sick. Sick implies, I'll get better"
Semi-Retired Installer
Installing since 1973
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Linear Mode
