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Old 04-05-2014, 02:08 PM   #1
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Children learn by example


Teach your children tolerance and compassion towards others...it will go a long way...

Pass a dollar or two to a needy stranger rather then be judgemental and complain that they have their hand out. Say hello instead of a snide "get a job"


Saw this quote and photo. Had to share
“It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”


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Last edited by creeper; 04-05-2014 at 02:14 PM.
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Old 04-05-2014, 03:52 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by creeper View Post
Teach your children tolerance and compassion towards others...it will go a long way...

Pass a dollar or two to a needy stranger rather then be judgemental and complain that they have their hand out. Say hello instead of a snide "get a job"


Saw this quote and photo. Had to share
“It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”

Try this....next time offer to buy them a meal....95% of the time they will tell you they want the money.

Which reminds me....I need to go buy bananas. Most of the transients in my area don't eat well....but drink way too much (they use the money people give them)

So I hand them bananas...it's usually one of the fruits most of them will eat...and they have nutrients that they are not getting in the junk food they eat.

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Old 04-05-2014, 06:32 PM   #3
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I don't usually want to buy them a meal, although I have done so in the past. I will stick to just handing over a dollar or two as I don't usually carry bunches of bananas on me. Plus I don't judge.
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Old 04-06-2014, 03:33 AM   #4
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Your intentions are good....but your not really helping them....they are only going to buy alcohol or drugs.
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Old 04-06-2014, 09:53 AM   #5
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Duh.. and so ? We are not their judge. You have a choice not to help

God forbid you should walk a mile in their shoes...then you'd really know what its like.. You know where it ends really depends on where you start.


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Old 04-06-2014, 10:52 AM   #6
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+1

I went ahead and bought and extra meal the last time I saw a guy nearby and he refused it when I drove by to give it to him.
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Old 04-06-2014, 11:36 AM   #7
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Maybe its not so much what we do or don't give someone in that kind of situation as it is how we feel and behave towards them. No matter how pathetic someone's situation, they are human beings too. Deserving of basis respect, compassion, and perhaps most importantly empathy.

We humans communicate in so many ways (other than verbally), that its almost impossible to really hide our feeling towards one another.

Imagine what it would be like to be offered food from someone who, by the look on their face or the vibes being given off, had already pre judged you as a drug addict, or a somehow flawed or lesser person.

Not implying that's the case with the examples given in this thread, just saying.

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Old 04-06-2014, 12:47 PM   #8
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If you don't want to give them money ( probably should not but that is a personal choice ) then give some money to a food bank or charity that feeds the poor and homeless. That is where a lot of them eat and the $$ they get may go for drugs or booze.

I give $$ to the Siloam Mission and have been supporting 3 kids in Africa and Romania for 25 years thru World Vision. The point is DO something and you get your reward or help later. Works for me.

http://www.worldvision.org/
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Old 04-06-2014, 01:04 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jmayspaint View Post
Maybe its not so much what we do or don't give someone in that kind of situation as it is how we feel and behave towards them. No matter how pathetic someone's situation, they are human beings too. Deserving of basis respect, compassion, and perhaps most importantly empathy.

We humans communicate in so many ways (other than verbally), that its almost impossible to really hide our feeling towards one another.

Imagine what it would be like to be offered food from someone who, by the look on their face or the vibes being given off, had already pre judged you as a drug addict, or a somehow flawed or lesser person.

Not implying that's the case with the examples given in this thread, just saying.
Given the extraordinarily high rate of mental illness in persons that are homeless, they are often unresponsive to normal emotional responses and interactions.

Some people may be better at hiding their emotions but to be faced with someone who is down on their luck and is homeless will typically produce some sort of visible reaction out of people if they don't deal with it that often.

I have worked in soup kitchens and other housing assistance locations such that it does not produce a similar reaction at this point.

I can't speak for ddawg (although I am sure, given his line of work, that he is no stranger to dealing with persons that are homeless) but there was no pity in my expression. The location I ate was outdoors and we probably would have wound up sitting across from each other while eating.

The point about offering assistance instead of money is the more important point of this thread.

Offering money, while well intentioned, often goes to the problem and not the solution.
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Old 04-06-2014, 01:28 PM   #10
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The most important point of this thread in so far so I'm concerned is to teach our kids by example of basic human respect, non judgemental compassion and empathy for others.
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Old 04-06-2014, 03:11 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by creeper View Post
Teach your children tolerance and compassion towards others...it will go a long way...

Pass a dollar or two to a needy stranger rather then be judgemental and complain that they have their hand out. Say hello instead of a snide "get a job"


Saw this quote and photo. Had to share
“It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.”

I disagree with the above quote- if I didn't teach my child to face cruelty in the world, I have partly failed as a parent....he/she would be a naive adult- cruelty will always be.
How we teach them to respond or deal with cruelty is another topic
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Old 04-06-2014, 04:41 PM   #12
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E I have to agree with you to a degree. A helicopter parent prevents a child from learning small disappointments This creates a young adult with an inability to cope with the big disappointments

But if we toughen them up to believe that the world is cruel and heartless, we break their spirits and teach them me, mine, myself.... Get ahead at all costs.

When we show consideration and empathy for others, we are teaching that its more about the ride.

Pride, arrogance and vanity are mistaken for strength, competence and beauty. None of which will make you happy. Being kind, generous and thoughtful will though

We all have the ability to help one another, even if its simply putting a smile on some ones face. Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up
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Old 04-06-2014, 06:49 PM   #13
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With regards to homeless people, I think I have much more insight to the bigger picture than most of you.

For the most part...you see the homeless person asking for a handout (which you assume to be for food)

I'm the one who picks them up off the street with puke all over them from the alcohol that they bought with the money you gave them.

They don't need money for food. They all know where the 'kitchens' are. Or, they just hang out in front of McDonalds until the manager brings them a meal....then they leave.

Yes, a lot of them have mental problems....and almost all have drug and alcohol issues. But, did the mental problems cause the addiction or did the addiction cause the mental problems? In my experience, many of them have fried their brains with drug use.

I handled a call last night. One of our regulars was claiming he was having a heart attack. The guy is 100 lbs overweight (eating more than enough) and still had the hospital bracelet from the night before.

Typical routine. Get drunk during the day...and if it's cold, fake a medical issue so you get a warm bed for the night...get discharged the next morning.....repeat as desired.

Right now I'm more worried about Mr Waters. 5 weeks ago he was admitted to an assisted care facility due to his Alzheimer's. 90 Year old WWII vet. POS tweaker across the street broke into his house and still his guns, money and medals. We arrested him last night with one of the guns and at least we recovered his medals.

Mr Waters has no family in the area. I've been on the phone several times today with nieces and nephews in other states helping them with some of the issues.

Seeing how tweaker dude is a convicted felon...he will be going back to prison for awhile

But Mr Waters will most likely die in that assisted care facility. I'm hoping I can help to get him over to his house so he can at least get his WWII pictures and the pics of his late wife. That's all he really cares about. To me, that is more important than handing a buck to a homeless person to buy alcohol.
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Old 04-06-2014, 07:00 PM   #14
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The problem is as old as time and humanity itself.

When the first caveman left some grapes in his water jug and forgot them and a couple days later they fermented and made alcohol (and he discovered that) and he drank it and got a buzz the rest is history. Life is difficult, people like to take the easy way out and drown their sorrows in booze AND party and do drugs. As long as people want to party and get drunk and stoned and fry their brains there will always be problems associated with that.

Homelessness and drug abuse like any social problem has MANY causes. Poverty, physical abuse, broken families, economics, racism against native Indians where I am, low IQ level which along with mental illness can be genetic so to lump them all together as worthless is not fair.

Karma can be a bi*tch and bite a person in the butt later. I worked in a hospital with large Personal care home and watched some folks rot away blind and alone and strapped in and crying in a wheel chair for years and heard the stories of how rotten they were and treated people. Almost seems like they got their payback early.

A certain segment of society does not over drink or do dugs but we are in the minority I am afraid.
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Old 04-06-2014, 07:15 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ddawg16 View Post
With regards to homeless people, I think I have much more insight to the bigger picture than most of you.

Uuugghh.. Of course you think you do..

For the most part...you see the homeless person asking for a handout (which you assume to be for food)

How the heck do you know what anyone assumes



Yes, a lot of them have mental problems....and almost all have drug and alcohol issues. But, did the mental problems cause the addiction or did the addiction cause the mental problems? In my experience, many of them have fried their brains with drug use.

.
Since we are going to change the topic from teaching kids empathy and compassion to addiction, I will answer this.

Most definitely addiction to anything is symptomatic of underlying problems.

People use drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism for overwhelming feelings. Some people just never learn healthy internal coping skills and so turn to outside distractions. Its rarely the other way around unless drug addiction is brought on by physical pain managment

And its not just those substances ...everything has a balance... Anything in moderation.

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Last edited by creeper; 04-06-2014 at 07:31 PM.
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