1956 Plymouth vs. Bicycle
Inspired by the other "story-telling" abilities, of other "denizens" of
this place -
I figured, I'd throw one out there.
I've got more "time on my hands" - just waiting around to get paid -
2 roofs (tear-offs), sidewalk, windows, walk-in tub (waste/supply lines,
3 electrical circuits, etc...) :)
Remember - this story is true!!
(The only person, that was injured; was me)
Identities changed, to protect the innocence!
DO NOT attempt this at home!
Early, 1970's -
Just put a 10-Speed together - new paint, new parts "Campys",
"silver-alloy", crank (90 dollars, back then), new everything!
To be continued!
(By the way - I had "toe-clips" on my bike - (you'll see how that
comes into play, later!)
A "Boo-ful", Summer, Saturday morning -
nice day do do some riding.
I was with a friend of mine - he liked to ride, too.
Out cruising the streets of Aurora, Ill. ("City of Lights")
Around, 9:00 - 9:30 - we decide it's "break-time"
We stop at "Lums" - a restaurant that served "Allcy-hol" -
After 4 or 5 Hieneken Darks - we decided to do some more cruising.
On our merry, way we go! (Fortified!) - care-free, fancy-free :)
As we're riding, we decide it's time for a "smoke" (good idea, Ehh?)
The only thing we had to smoke was something - we'll call it -
"Tabacky" (Let's keep this PG-13!)
So, we smoke some "tabacky" - that combined with some "inspiration"
from the Netherlands, region -
We're going to "burn" up some pavement!
We're "boiling" up Palace St. (North/South street) coming upto
Illinois (Major, East/West drag) -
We've got a stop-sign, Illinois don't.
At this point I'm doing 30 to 35 MPH - and, I'm "digging, hard" -
I looked both ways - It's clear - I've got a good idea, -
I'll "blow" the "Stop- Sign" - I'm rolling, now - why slow down?!
It's clear! Wheee!!
Back to the "Tale"!
It was clear - on the right and the left.
However, facing me on the North side of "Illinois" was a
1956, Plymouth, 4-door, Sedan. (Nice one!)
His turn-signals didn't work!
I enter the intersection; and, promptly "Slam" into the side of his car.
He turned left - right in front of me!
My friend, who was behind me (some distance) said I went, straight
up in the air - 10 to 20 feet.
(we didn't have tape measures with us) :)
I landed in the intersection and I pick up my bike -
I look at it - front tire is about 8 to 10 inches wide one way -
and a Lot wider the other.
(Still holding air)
The tubes on the frame are "accordioned", severly!
Boo, Hoo, Hoo!
The driver of the car and my friend escort me to the side of the road -
I'm distraught about my bicycle!
They tell me I've got to go to the hospital.
First, I'm like What?!? - I'm fine -
Look at my bicycle!
They get me to go look in the side-view mirror, of the car I just hit.
Chin opened up - right shoulder - opened up -
I think I'll go to the hospital!
Funny - no marks on the car!!! :)
My face landed, right between the rear windshield and the trunk.
Well, I'm going to the hospital.
The driver of the car I hit is going to drive me.
My friend will drop my bike at my house.
We're on the way to "Copley" hospital -
I can see this person is "very concerned", nervous, etc...
(Car - bike accident?!! - Ouch!)
I tell him - don't worry - it's my fault - I "ran" the stop-sign!
I ask him if he smokes "tabacky" - he says yes -
we split a "square" on the way to the hospital.
(Can't have too much pain-killers)
He drops me off - I never saw him again.
Emergency Ward -
I walk in and the nurse looks at all the "V8" on my T-shirt -
No waiting! :)
20 on my chin and 12 on my shoulder.
(Shot of "demerol" too!)
I walk out of the "EW" and there's a police car waiting.
They ask me about a "car" accident that happened at Palace and Illinois -
I explain what happened -
they probably looked at me and figured - I already payed!! :)
They offered to drive me home - I lived across the "Fox" river -
wasn't a long walk.I walked.
End of story!
Hope there's some "Mirth" and "Merriment" here!
(I have more stories)
You've been warned!!
(Happy Holidays!) :)
(By the way - this isn't any "cut and paste") :)
An aside - if I wouldn't have had "toe-clips" on - instead: of slamming into the car - I would
have gone over it, and landed directly in the path of a vehicle - going, fast!)
Thanks RF, I enjoyed that, well not the part where you got hurt. I look forward to more of your stories.
Luckily - most of my stories are not that injurious!
I got hurt!?! So what!!
What about my bicycle!??! :)
As an "addendum" to this wonderful tale of "mirth and merriment" (Huh?!)
A couple of years later - when I had begun my profitable (What??!) career
in the construction industry -
I had the pleasure to visit the Emergency Ward, at Copley Hospital.
This time - it wasn't me versus motor vehicle - It was me versus
7 1/4 inch, Craftsman power saw!
Guess who won??
100 plus stitches! (At least, I didn't hurt the blade!)
(Seriously, at this moment I don't remember, exactly how many -
100 to 200)
Same doctor who stitched me up from my "escapade" with the
He remembered me! (Aren't you the idiot? .... Yeah!) :)
Demerol again!!! (He, he he!!!)
(That wasn't my leg, they were working on - just a piece of meat!)
Always a "silver lining" in every cloud! :)
Wait till you hear my next adventure with bicycles!
No stitches!!! :)
Thanks Ross---I know those streets well--I got a good chuckle when you ran into the same doctor---
Search "Jordan Rapp accident'' for same cycling accident.
I was a cab driver/dispatcher in Aurora - used to know that town -
"like the back of my hand"!
At least there's someone here who can somewhat, realize the unpleasant, "Stupidity" - of my choice to run that stop-sign! :)
That intersection is still dangerous!!
(Wait a minute: which "Doc Holliday" is this? I think there's 2 on this place?! - Oh! - 2 "L's" - we know who you are!)
"Jordan Rapp"? - I'll look it up!
(Here, I thought I was the only person that could do something as dumb
as this?!) :)
Seriously - I was young and stupid! - vs. old and stupid - like now!!
Next up -
Bicycles (this is a bicycle, themed thread), Fox Valley Mall, and
"J C Penneys"
(Video at 11:00)
What a "teaser"!!!
This was back in the late 70's.
My brother, a bunch of our friends, and myself; used to frequent a number
of restaurant/bars in Fox Valley Mall - the Mall: a large place.
It had 2 levels, plus a basement with a large food-court, a couple
The Mall had large versions of Sears (man, did they have a giant, selection
of "Craftsman" tools!!), Penneys, Lord and Taylor, Marshall Fields ( the "gift
wrapping" service at "Fields" was superb! - you wait till Christmas Eve -
do a "mad" rush through the Mall - take your gifts to Fields - then spend
a hour or two at one of the "watering holes"! - perfect!) :)
(I had a Fields card back then - "Charge It"!) :)
The Penneys store had entrances on both levels.
I quite, often parked at one of the upper, level entrances - it had
a large "loading zone" - from experience I knew that people often
parked there for hours - no "tows", no "tickets".
I was carrying lots of tools and equipment on my truck; so, I figured it
was safer there then the "nether" regions of the parking lots.
(they didn't have "security patrols" back then - they do now!)
I had a radio-alarm installed: but, you can't be too careful! :)
This day, we decided we were going to visit a place called -
"The Foxes Den" (get it - Fox Valley Mall - "Foxes Den"!)
(An aside - they had a bartender at this place "Pat Fox"! -
her name fit her perfectly! - a "Fox"!) :)
We were there for a while - don't remember, exactly how long
(Time "flies" when you're having fun!!!) :)
We decided to leave.
My brother and I make our way through the mall to the upper, level
and enter Penneys.
As were making our way through Penneys toward the exit -
(my truck is parked, right outside)
What do we see??? -
A rack filled with (guess?) - "BICYCLES" - OH, BOY!!! :)
We walk over to the rack -
We don't say a word to each other -
We remove two BMX bikes from the rack -
We then proceed to "tour" the store!!
Off we go, on our own separate way! :)
("Speed shopping" - boy, on those floors - those things could stop on
a "dime"! - acceleration? - Oh Yeah!)
I'll be back!
(No bicycles were harmed in the performance of this stunt!) :)
So, the "tour" is "scenic" -
You should have seen the "perplexed", "surprised", "awe-struck", "startled",
look on the face of the shoppers I encountered!!! :)
Fun like that, makes life worth living!!! :)
The tour ends up with me stopped, looking at the exit from Penneys into
the Mall (they have "ramps" in the Mall - WHEEEE!!!)
As, I'm there, looking out into the Mall - up rides my brother.
We're there looking out into the Mall - no words are exchanged
(Great Minds Think Alike!)
I think it dawned on both of us that - remove merchandise from store -
We both turn and off we go - more "touring"!
However: all good things must come to an end!
(Before the "powers that be", decide to have the "POLIZIA" intervene!!!) :)
I'm approaching the rack that we got the bicycles from -
Up walks a "stern", "perturbed" man in a grey suit (Asst. Man. - I knew him
and he knew me - when you've got a pony-tail, six inches below your
belt and a "Fu-Manchu": you're easy to see!!!) :)
(I spent a lot of money at Penneys - and, I owed them a lot!)
So, I'm standing there looking at him - he's looking at me - no words, yet.
Up comes riding, my brother.
He stops - forgets to put his feet out - promptly falls over!!!
(It could have been the "libations" or the "tabacky" - who knows!?!)
I turn and look at the Asst. Man. and tell him - ( with a "wide", "eyed"
look on my face) - "He fall down go boom"!!! :)
No words from him!!! He, he, he!!!
(Can you say "Lawsuit"!?! - I thought you could!!!)
My brother gets up and we walk over and put the bicycles back in the rack.
We walk out of the store.
The next day, we return to the scene of the "crime".
THE BICYCLES ARE ALL CHAINED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Too much "libations"/"smoke"???)
All of the above?
We'll never, really know!!
End of story.
I hate to tell you good, people this -
I have more!!
(Don't worry - some of them are as "fool-hardy", "stupid", "wreckless" ...
as this one!!!)
Nothing like a little entertainment!
Happy Holidays :)
(I think the next tale might involve "pool" - not the "cement pond" type -
the exasperating, slate covered by felt type)
By the way - sorry about any double letters or mis-spelling -
just got a new keyboard - not used to it at all :)
I guess when the man in the suit is just looking at you and not saying anything, you can just make up what you think he is thinking and most times it is worse than what he really is thinking, I think.
Not sure what you're getting at - I think!
I think I have a grasp.
I think that the person didn't know "what to think"! :)
I don't blame him!
I hope you at least, got some "chuckles" from the story!
I did! :)
I think we'll move on, into "Pool" -
Shooting "Stick" -
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