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Old 07-16-2010, 01:15 PM   #16
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Wow, and I was beginning to think that I was the only adult on here. I appreciate your advice and words of encouragement, Nap.

I have, in fact, submitted my concerns in email form but received no response. I submitted a letter of complaint, as well. Again, no response and no explanation.

I've read and reread the guidelines governing thread participation. As far as I can tell, I've operated well within these guidelines in all cases but, perhaps, one. (A detractor invited me to accept a "Get Out of Hell Free Card" he generously offered me when I was seeking advice in a situation where I had laid ceramic tile over what is considered a laughably unacceptable underlayment. My response to this detractor was a bit below the belt and therefore promptly removed. Rightfully so.)

As for race, I suppose it would be best if I retract my statements concerning a possible "racial theme" in the flooring forum. My feelings have been very, VERY hurt by the conduct of some of the moderators on here, and I admit I overreacted.

I will not address your comment as to what the name "Vinny" suggests about the racial or ethnic background of a person who bears it.

Nap, you and Danger Mouse are really the only helpful members that I've encountered in the DIY Chatroom. Thank you. This forum could use more members such as yourself. I realize that any other sensible "Newbie" would have taken the hint that they are not welcome a long time ago and left the DIY Chatroom far, far behind them. But, I dislike cliques, snobbery and ostracization, and I try not let it dictate where and when I state things that need stating.

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Old 07-16-2010, 04:37 PM   #17
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. This is a long life to wade through carrying any more baggage than we have to. I have a friend who often uses a statement in her lectures that goes something like this: "If you CAN be offended, you WILL be offended." This is so much more true than you might realize.

We laugh or cry by our own personal and esoteric perceptions of our surroundings. And any one of us can overload the sensitivity of our receptors to the point that a gnat sneezing as it flies past can be interpreted as a slur of some kind. Ya gotta get past that stuff or it will eventually bury you.

I'm going to pass on a comment an art teacher once wrote on the board when I was moping around, feeling especially sorry for myself......

She walked to that board and wrote: "To be happy, just forget about you."

Then I will take the liberty to suggest that you might Google the term REBT. I teach the principles of applying REBT in weekly Behavioral Modification classes for criminal offenders and ex-offenders. And I use them in my own life because they work.

And here is a good place to start.................... Did you just feel 'offended' because I compared you to the criminals in my classes? Now think about that. I mean REALLY think about it. What did you think I said. And what did I ACTUALLY say? They are likely two quite different realities.

Did I compare you to them, or did you just think that I did? And even if I had done so, which I didn't, so what?

My point here is that I did deliberately use a reference that you could grab hold of to jump to all sorts of conclusions. Hell, Man, it's what those classes are all about. Are you sensing and feeling all those frustrating and negative emotions churning inside you? Of course you are.

Therein lies a problem for you.

This was just the short, $2 version of how we twist ourselves up in knots... totally unnecessarily!

If this made you think - even a little - please do consider Googling REBT (and actually reading about it). You, just like the rest of us on the face of this tumultuous ball of dust called Earth, just might find a way to enhance your life by the knowledge you'll find there.
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Old 07-16-2010, 05:25 PM   #18
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Dude! Like nap says, relax. The tile over carpet thing WAS funny, and I totally understand people thinking you were trolling us. As a moderator here, I've seen rude, insulting, childish and infantile behavior from newbies and regular users alike. But as mods, we calls 'em as we sees 'em. Some posts are simply removed, others get a bit of editing if they're important enough to keep to HELP someone down the line. Remember, MOST of our readers at any given time are guests, not members. Many guests sign up just to thank someone for a particularly helpful thread! We always try to be fair and judge on character, not race, creed, color of your car or where on the planet you happen to be. Now spammers, well.... don't get me started....

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Old 07-16-2010, 06:30 PM   #19
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


I would ask, "Is
the burden of proof on Vinny or
the burden of refutation on the forum"?

What comes to mind is a scene in the movie "City Slickers". See also
http://www.google.com/search?client=...UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

But besides all that, Mr. Vinny, how would you apportion the "grains of truth" in the both sides presented here?
50-50?
If 60-40, who holds the 60%?

This is definitely the course and the book for you
http://www.justiceharvard.org/

I also recommend
"On Being Certain" written by a neurologist.

Gordon Allport is good too, if you can get one of his books.

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Old 07-17-2010, 12:23 PM   #20
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Willie T - I always knew I liked you. Thank you for taking your time to write out this thoughtful and kind response. My husband is a psychiatrist, and he explained how REBT works to me. It's a good tool to keep in my tool bag.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Willie T View Post
Vinny, Vinny, Vinny. This is a long life to wade through carrying any more baggage than we have to. I have a friend who often uses a statement in her lectures that goes something like this: "If you CAN be offended, you WILL be offended." This is so much more true than you might realize.

We laugh or cry by our own personal and esoteric perceptions of our surroundings. And any one of us can overload the sensitivity of our receptors to the point that a gnat sneezing as it flies past can be interpreted as a slur of some kind. Ya gotta get past that stuff or it will eventually bury you.

I'm going to pass on a comment an art teacher once wrote on the board when I was moping around, feeling especially sorry for myself......

She walked to that board and wrote: "To be happy, just forget about you."

Then I will take the liberty to suggest that you might Google the term REBT. I teach the principles of applying REBT in weekly Behavioral Modification classes for criminal offenders and ex-offenders. And I use them in my own life because they work.

And here is a good place to start.................... Did you just feel 'offended' because I compared you to the criminals in my classes? Now think about that. I mean REALLY think about it. What did you think I said. And what did I ACTUALLY say? They are likely two quite different realities.

Did I compare you to them, or did you just think that I did? And even if I had done so, which I didn't, so what?

My point here is that I did deliberately use a reference that you could grab hold of to jump to all sorts of conclusions. Hell, Man, it's what those classes are all about. Are you sensing and feeling all those frustrating and negative emotions churning inside you? Of course you are.

Therein lies a problem for you.

This was just the short, $2 version of how we twist ourselves up in knots... totally unnecessarily!

If this made you think - even a little - please do consider Googling REBT (and actually reading about it). You, just like the rest of us on the face of this tumultuous ball of dust called Earth, just might find a way to enhance your life by the knowledge you'll find there.
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Old 07-17-2010, 12:42 PM   #21
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah Frances View Post
Willie T - I always knew I liked you. Thank you for taking your time to write out this thoughtful and kind response. My husband is a psychiatrist, and he explained how REBT works to me. It's a good tool to keep in my tool bag.
Thanks, Leah. I can't begin to tell you how rewarding it is to not only reap the benefits of a calmer lifestyle for myself, but to also see the hundreds of frustrated and mixed up kids who are learning how to lessen the intensity of their emotional reactions by applying this "real-world-evaluation" strategy to their daily situational struggles.

And that's really the key to helping them keep themselves out of prison... just to keep a lid on it at crucial times.
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Old 07-17-2010, 02:57 PM   #22
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Vinny, I am sorry if I or some of the others in the flooring/tile thread offended you. I have installed floor covering for almost 40 years and honestly thought you were yanking our chain.
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Old 07-17-2010, 03:18 PM   #23
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


No offense taken, sir. No need for apologies at all. I don't really care about the tile-over-carpeting thread being removed at this point, and I don't care that people thought I was kidding.

Approximately 50-percent of what I've published in these threads has been removed by moderators, and it was really starting to bother me. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I want to be part of the flooring conversation.

Also, and this is a minor point, I don't mind telling you that much of what Scuba Dave says about me and my presence on the DIY Chatroom makes me bristle.

(I'd like to clarify this comment. I was not that bothered by the carpet-over-tile thread being removed. In a way, it was a blessing because that's one particular very embarrassing chapter in my life that is no longer available for public consumption via the Internet. I WAS bothered by the fact that subsequent posts and replies published by me were deleted in predictably large swathes. My anger was directed at some of the moderators--not regular members of this forum.)

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Old 07-17-2010, 03:47 PM   #24
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Other then the tiling over carpet thread, only 4 other posts by you have been moved to the staff area
Not the 10-15 you claim, and not 50%
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Old 07-17-2010, 04:03 PM   #25
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


I think it's time to get beyond whatever happened and move on. I don't think Dave is going to let you have 377 phone calls before something is done.


Notice a pattern here vinny?

maybe willie can help you out via PM.
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Old 07-17-2010, 05:20 PM   #26
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


I published an interesting, worthwhile piece the other day about the State of Illinois' Statute of Limitations for property damage as it pertains to the local tiling business. Apparently it didn't sit well with someone because it was immediately removed. I admit, it was momentarily funny in a weird way because it was taken down immediately--in about 30-seconds. But, after I thought about it for a while, I realized that not even Harold Bloom could read 420 words in such a short amount of time. Which probably means it was deleted simply because one of the Cool Kids saw "Handy Vinny" in the byline. What else is new?

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Old 07-17-2010, 05:24 PM   #27
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


maybe it was taken down because this is a DIY forum and the demise of the tile trade due to the SoL in Illinois is out of place here. Just as they remove questions for quotes or some pro trying to hawk his services, it was most likely judged to be out of place on this forum.

sounds like something that would be welcome on a Pro tilers forum, not here though.

and if the mod was checking new posts at the time, he saw it and had no need to read the entire post before making his determination.
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Old 07-17-2010, 05:29 PM   #28
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


The race of other people on the forum has never occurred to me until Vinny brought it up, and I guess that is proof that we don't yet live in a Post-Racial America because issues of race are still part of some people's everyday experiences.

I guess, I am trying (inelegantly) to say that I am glad for this thread because it forced me to reflect on the issue of race and the perception of racism from outside of my usual paradigm. And while I'm not yet sure how or what to do with this additional perspective, I think I grew a little bit today.
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Old 07-17-2010, 09:31 PM   #29
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Quote:
Which probably means it was deleted simply because one of the Cool Kids saw "Handy Vinny" in the byline. What else is new?
Had little to do with DIY.

It would have been a good post for the sister site. Contractor Talk.
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Old 07-17-2010, 09:44 PM   #30
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Apparent or real discriminatory censorship and policing of the flooring forum?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Handy Vinny View Post
I admit, it was momentarily funny in a weird way because it was taken down immediately--in about 30-seconds. But, after I thought about it for a while, I realized that not even Harold Bloom could read 420 words in such a short amount of time. Which probably means it was deleted simply because one of the Cool Kids saw "Handy Vinny" in the byline. What else is new?
Once again you are completely wrong
You started the thread at 11:13a
You edited the thread at 11:17a
The thread was viewed 44 times
The thread was moved to the staff area at 12:07p......54 minutes later
This is why they are kept in the staff area...as a reference

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