The only way that I know of to get back to the original color is to sand until you hit unstained wood.
You can bleach the stain to lighten it.
The whitewash will lighten it up some, you can apply multiple coats. This will not match the original woodwork.
If it were me, I would bleach the door, find some scraps of the same wood and stain and bleach them. Now every thing should be the same color and you know what you don't want. Go to the store and buy some of those ittty-bitty cans that you think might be close to what you are trying to match and put it in a small area of your sample board. BTW, this is where you should have started before putting anything on the door. If you get close, you can mix the stains to get closer. If you play with this for a while, eventually you will get a perfect match.
Another thought is that you might just be looking at old varnish. Most oil based varnishes have some color to them and they darken with age. You can 'antique' varnish by adding a little stain to it. Do not try and mix waterbased stain and oil based varnish, it won't work.
All of the above applies to oilbased products. I have tried waterbased varnishes a few times and simply don't like them.