wow, lots of info.
my Q to you, do you really need a disconnect between meter and main panel??
someone else may assist you better than I, but i'll give what info i can.
200amp service requires either 4ought AL or 3ought Copper. obviously copper is much more expensive.
benefits to copper are: handles heat better than AL, and no oxidation.
with AL wire you will need to use "noALox" on all lugs and wires to prevent oxidation.
if you dont have a disconnect, the main panel will need at least two grounding rods.
ground comes from panel to each rod, and back to the panel
however, if you do use a disconnect i believe you would use 4 wire(two hot, neutral, ground)
from the panel to the disconnect, and use the same grounding rules for it.
in this setup do not ground the main panel to the rods, and remove bonding screw.
(unless disconnect is separate from building, then both require ground. if im not mistaken)
QO makes a panel with copper bus bars if you want to spend the extra dough.
if you go with a standard panel with Aluminum bus bars i recommend using the noALox on it as well.
this would help against arcing on the breakers.
the util co will probably cut power before the electrician installs a new meter socket.
i know guys who have done it "live", but safety first, right?
hope this is a little helpful. Pro's, please correct any info that is incorrect.