Not to suggest that the OP is a dumb blonde (I too am of the fair color), but here's one I've seen before. Most ceiling fans have a forward and reverse switch so that you can make it blow down in the winter and pull up in the summer. I had a buddy who couldn't make his fan work and I found that that switch was somewhere in the middle. Moved it all the way to one side and viola! The switch is usually a small, black two-position slide switch on the fan body itself.
Check it out.
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves,"You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done." - George Carlin